Blog | Jul 18, 2012 | 6 Comments

[the meaning of life and work]

A friend of mine is dying and it’s been hard to get down to business this week. But it’s brought all aspects of my life and work into sharper focus, and despite the terrible loss ahead, I hope to be a better person because of it.

Last week, after ringing up the order of a previous customer, a cashier at our local Costco asked if he wanted to buy any stamps, food, or the secret to the meaning of life. The joke was utterly lost on the other customer but my daughter and I cracked up. I told the cashier that I didn’t know the meaning of life, but I did know the secret to happiness. It was told to me once by a blind friend, and she said the formula was quite simple: you just need someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

Some people say the meaning of life is just to be happy, so maybe it is the same as the secret to happiness. I don’t know. But as I thought about this, I was struck anew by the second element of the “secret”: something to do. That means work. Whether paid or unpaid, work is a very important part of our happiness.

What about work makes us happy? In my case, it’s having work that creates value for my family, my community, and sometimes even the world. It’s also having working conditions that I can generally control and being with people that I generally admire and/or learn from. The “and/or” is important here. You may not like or admire someone, but everyone is your teacher. That is a Buddhist principle I accept in all areas of my life. And it redeems even the most difficult projects or work environments–at least temporarily.

Work also defines who we are. Or maybe it’s the other way around, but our work and our identities are intertwined. As my friend lay in the hospital last week speaking to our minister about accepting hospice care and the reality of death, he told her simply, “I’m an engineer.” She said that was his way of indicating that “he’s hard-wired to face facts and accept them.”

This encounter with my dying friend brought me back to concept of “A” meaning to life. In this fragmented world, it’s hard to believe there is just one meaning, and impossible to believe that everyone would accept it. The only “one” meaning I would accept is to experience happiness, one’s own and that of others. Because no one can be happy if they don’t contribute to the happiness of the people around them.

But I think the better question is, what is the meaning of my life? Each life is so different, each can “mean” different things. I will be thinking a lot about what my friend’s life has meant, though I will never truly know the extent to which he has influenced the world, for he is greatly loved and admired. And then I’ll start some hard thinking about what my life has meant and could mean in the future.

Whatever you do the rest of the week, work-wise or other-wise, try to make it as meaningful as possible. But also be grateful for the small experiences and annoyances. No matter what happens, you are alive, learning, and contributing. And once again, let me say that I am so glad you are here.

 

 

 

Author: Claire Wagner

I'm a seasoned freelance writer/editor and an enthusiastic community manager. I'm passionate about developing and sharing good content.

6 Comments

Thanks for this thoughtful post, Claire. On a particularly busy and somewhat stressful week, it was a timely reminder to stop and be grateful.

Related to meaning and work, I’m reading Daniel Pink’s book Drive, in which he talks about intrinsic motivations for work – and how being intrinsically motivated makes us happier at work. It’s a good read, I recommend it for some time in the future when you’re through the current crisis.

[Reply]

Claire Wagner Reply:

@Anne Janzer, Jan, this is going into my Kindle list. Thank you!

[Reply]

Anne Janzer

7/18/2012

Thanks Claire,

for sharing the grief and wonder or life, passing, work, contributing and joy. Very much you, and so important to all of us.

Will post on Doc Peg’s FB page tomorrow (too many for today, and this is timeless in many ways). Hugs, Peggy

[Reply]

Claire Wagner Reply:

@Margaret (Peggy) Herrman, What an honor for you to report on Facebook! Thanks, Peg.

[Reply]

Claire:

Thank you for the wonderful read. With my life as chaotic as it has been these days, I find myself happy with where I am in life and perhaps I have a better understanding of happiness and what it means to live a meaningful life (then again perhaps not since I’m only 30 and have a whole lot of learning to do). I agree with your blind friend that it is important to have “someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.”

I have learned that although it is important to love someone, it is critical to love oneself as well. It is important to accept all aspects of your life, both good and bad. For the good, savor it and never take it for granted. For the bad, learn from it and never allow yourself to live in regret.

I find that with the ability to love oneself, finding “someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to” will be more meaningful and fulfilling and ultimately will lead to happiness in life.

I’m extremely greatful to have you and Greg in my life as friends and look forward to many more dinners together.

Cheers,
Nhan

[Reply]

Nhan Nguyen

7/18/2012

@Nhan Nguyen, Nhan, wisdom can come at any age, and if we listen to ourselves, it will only accumulate. Thanks for sharing another secret to happiness and life. We are also grateful for your friendship!

[Reply]

Claire Wagner

7/23/2012

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